My days’ started off wonderfully.I got the 2nd most beautiful comment in my life! (But bothof them haven’t come from my husband, or boyfriends for that matter.)
I know I never write about personal stuff much, but don’t know today amtyping this, will find out only later if I post this or not.
Coming back to the compliment I received,ohh, the only thing that could beat it was if it had come from my husband, orjust any other guy instead of this sweet girl.
She saw me at the gym, lazilyworking out, I am THE laziest member ofthe class, even the instructor says so, but I’m also the only one who’s beenattending his class from the start, so I guess it evens it out.
After the class, we met in thechanging room, she started hesitantly, “May I say something to you?”, and I waslike, OH no, here it comes, what could itbe, my shoes my top or my pants, or even worse, is there a tag stuck behind myback…gosh!
“Ya, sure tell me” with a small smile that took more force thanthose push-ups!
My hands instantly go to my face, what?
She continues, “Your face is veryattractive, your features are very nice…”
I relax and even blush, “Oh thank you, that very sweet of you.” I can’ttake criticism but I don’t even like getting compliments, it embarrasses me. I know they mean well and good, but still I happento look at the person suspiciously.
“When I saw you I felt like I wantedto keep looking at you, could not take my eyes off your face”, she adds.
Well now I was almost blushing,has this person been a guy I would have swelled, but as she was a female, mademe wonder, think and even suspect her motives, see I told you na I get suspicious.
But later when we spoke and I figuredout she was not a lesbian and meant no evil, I felt swell! It made me so happy that I hope I dint gain some inches with theswelling!
Giving compliments is a meantask, especially to a stranger, so kudos to this girl, whose name also I dintget. But even otherwise, one needs to put aside his/her ego and to give a compliment,more so if it to someone of the same sex.
But there are some compliments whichsomehow sound like insults. Any accoladeor praise, even though meant in good spirits, that leave you confused is a badcompliment. Theystrike you like, no she dint just say that, not in front of an audience!
“You are looking nice today”, don’t I look nice on other days?
“Your hair’s looking good, wheredid you get it cut?”, are you saying myhair’s not nice, but only coz of the cut it’s looking good?
“Are those your real eyes?”, no I’m wearing artificial eyes!
“That dress makes you look thin”, Am I fat?
“Wow, is that a natural tan?”, yes I was born dark, nothings fair.
“You havea very photogenic face”, does this mean Idon’t look good in real?
Another of these confusedcompliments that most of us receive while growing up is, you can do better. Why isn’t what I did good enough? Why youwant better?
Your daughter in law is very good”,identified and accepted as a perfectbali-ka-bakra (sacrificial goat) cause “good daughter-in-law” here means, dumb,as in both stupid and mute.
But the most dreaded complimentthat no woman wants to here has to be, “congratulations, your baby bump is socute”, when you are not even pregnant! I’vestopped congratulating people till I’m 100%sure that she’s expecting.
Another female oriented compliment-cum-insulthas to be, “you drive pretty well for a woman”, and I don’t have any words for this one.
Once a very long time back, a friendof mine had tagged me as “a tit-for-tat person”, later she tried very hard tojustify saying she meant it in a good way, but I was not. It was for this sameperson that I had got into a fight with my seniors at work, and she was saying thisto the same senior “That’s how Pooja is, let it go”
I remember, I colleague of mine gotengaged to this jerk of a guy from the same office, and when I found out, thebest I could say was “good for you”,she not knowing that it was not a nice compliment took it as a congratulatoryremark.
I know it tough to get over someof these compliments, but the best possible way to deal with them, as per my experienceis, to ignore them. Say a thank you, with a smile and let it go, as innocentlyas it was said, take it like it was not meant to be that way. Maybe the speakeris not as fluent with her language skills as you are. Most of the times, theperson’s intentions are innocent, but even it not, thank you works best, as it’slike a missed shot for the person. It will annoy the person when you don’t flareup or get hurt as per his/her expectation.
Have a good day! And make sure yourcompliment are just what they ought to be.