Indian Driving Rules.

Rule #1
Valid license a must for drivers.
Indian interpretation
You are allowed to drive as soon as you are 18, and allowed to learn, on the roads and .around the city, as soon as your legs reach the accelerator.
The sooner the better.
Rule #2
Follow the traffic rules, signs and signals at all times.
In India
We don’t learn about the traffic rules, signals or for that matter, most of the times we don’t even have time to see the signs or lights. There’s so much more on the road to feast my eyes on, and I’m such a perfect driver, always watching the roads, what do I need traffic rules or signals for?
Rule #3
Always overtake from the driver’s side of the vehicle you intend to overtake.
In India
If I have to overtake why do I need to take sides? Once I overtake him, he will know it, as it is he’s driving so slowly!
Rule #4
While entering a round-about, the rights to the road are always of the vehicle on your right, left incase of left-hand side drive. Let vehicles already in the circle exit first.
Indian Methodology
When I’m paying equal amount of taxes, how can his right to the roads be more than mine? Why should I let anyone else go before me, when their driving skills are not even half as good as me?
Rule #5
Always use your indicators while changing lanes or turning your vehicle.
In India
In most of the cases, we don’t indicate, and even if we do, we have our hands and feet at our disposal! It is so easy to use one’s hand and indicate instead of switching on-off my indicators.
Though, I don’t know why I need to indicate my direction, when in a moment they shall know where my car is headed.
 
Rule #6
Rear view mirrors and side view mirrors help you drive more safely. Use them at all times.
Indian version
In India, the roads are so full that there is no space for side view mirrors, most of the times, they are either removed or kept shut.
And for the rear view mirror, why do I need to look at the vehicle behind me, when I can hear him honking on my head?
Rule #7
A car has to be parked as per the parking lines in order to save space and not hinder traffic.
Parking in India
As it is, it is so difficult to get a parking space and if I go about being thoughtful about others, where will I park? I should get a parking space closest to my destination (In India it can rain any moment, so being I’m prepared), and my parking should also offer me the easiest exit route. So always leave at the least ½ a car’s gap behind and in front of your car!
But there is one common “unsaid rule”, which we witness all over the globe. A mentality, that all females are “bad drivers”. So when a man sees a women driving he will go fast and over take her, show her who’s the boss hoot some more louder and stare at her like she’s from the moon. But being a female, this is still my favorite one; I use it to my advantage.
 
I take it like, as I’m a female driver, I’m bad, so please excuse me, and let me go, at my own pace in my own fashion.
Happy driving.
 
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Ganpatti Bappa shall not help

No No please don’t misunderstand me. I am also an avid believer and follower of Lord Ganesha. And we also keep Ganeshji at our house for 10 days. But every year when I witness Ganeshji being immersed in water with all the fanfare and singing and dancing, I wonder why we do this? I’m sure there is a logical mythological tale behind all this too just as almost all our Indian traditions do have. But what if Ganeshji takes offence and is hurt by all this annual tradition of ours? Then what? One scenario could be like this.
Once there were some people drowning in the middle of some sea or river, they were all praying to their respective Gods and Goddess.
A Christian family called upon Jesus to help them, Jesus came and rescued them instantly.
Next a Muslim couple was helped by Allah. They reached shore safely.
The Sikhs gurus came to the rescue of their fellow Sikhs.
Cutting a long story short, at the end of it only a Maharashtrian family was stuck on the ship. Everyone could see that Ganeshji was jumping up and down, but on closer inspection they realized that Ganeshji was happily dancing and signing and not trying to help his worshippers.
Someone asked him what was the reason behind all this, he very innocently replied, every year this is the same that they do to me, how was I supposed to know they will not like it!
So moral of the story is, incase you are stuck in the sea or river, never pray to Lord Ganesha!
GanpattiBappa Morya!
Mangal Murti Morya!

An Apple a day keeps the Doctor away, but…

My dad v/s my grandpa
Year 1955
Subject: Radio
Dad: Pappa, there’s a new thing shaped like a box, and it talks to you. There are people inside who will talk to you and will also sing for you. You will not have to go to the chowk (meeting place in small towns and villages.) and ask your friends about things happening around you.
                                   
Grandpa: Are you mad! How can someone talk to you from a small box? How will the box know what is happening in our village? Don’t waste my time.
Dad v/s Grandpa
Year 1970
Subject: Telephone
Dad: But why not? If we get this instrument, we can talk to you sister who lives all the way in Haridwaar. It will be so nice. Mom can phone and ask her friends what time they have to go to the temple instead of making me run to their house all this time! 
Grandpa: What you are talking about is not practical. It’s a joke. How can a person talk to someone who is miles and miles away from here? It’s a scam. Not possible at all. Don’t waster your time and my money on such non-sense things.
Me v/s Dad
Year 1990
Subject Computer                                 
Me: But why not? Everyone at school is using it and I am the only who doesn’t have it. You know we can play games on it, mom can save her recipes in it and  you can do your accounts and calculations in that same machine. Its like having a Robot! It will surely make life very easy for all of us! 
Dad: Why would I want to use such a big machine to do calculation which I can do easily on my calculator? It does not make any sense! And mom is also happy using paper to save her recipes why buy a computer? Money does not grow on tress, learn to value it!
                                                          
Me V/s Dad
Year 2000
Subject Mobile

Me: But dad, I have to have it! I can’t go to college without it. All my friends have one and so I also want one anyhow.
Dad: But why? We have a telephone at home, you can use it when you need to, and I don’t understand why would you and your friends want a phone with you during college?
Me: With a mobile I can even text my friends and tell them what I have to say to them.
Dad: Why would you want to text your friends when you can talk to them? Your generation does not value money. Wait till you have to earn it yourself!
Son v/s me
Year 2011
Subject Samsung Galaxy 750
Son: But ma you don’t understand, it’s the latest, fastest and the sleekest so far.
Mom: That’s what you said when we were buying your mobile last time, you said it works faster than my computer.
Son: Not this time, The Samsung Galaxy Tab 750 is not only the  sleekest and fastest, but it’s a breakthrough in all technological aspects. Trust me. From  work to entertainment, from social sites to school projects, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 can handle it all. No more waiting for pages to load and games to start, with the NVIDIA tegra 2 Dual core processor I can instantly load games, project files, images all in an instant! 
Mom: But you have a laptop for all these same reasons! What’s the need to buy a tablet?
Son: Ma, once you see this video you will realize what’s so special about this tablet.
Mom its,  

  • Lighter than your compact powder
  • Faster than the fastest Bugatti
  • As sturdy as The Rock
  • As Reliable as Rahul Dravid
  • As stunningly beautiful as Katrina Kaif (Oppss I forgot you like Aiswarya Rai better)

  • All in all, it’s the best in the world of tablets, and we have to have it too! 
  • Mom you always say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if I have the galaxy tablet, it will keep everything and everyone at the tips of my fingers.
     Son v/s me
    Year 2025
    Subject waiting for a new demand
    He is still stuck like glue to his Samsung Galaxy Tablet!
    Son v/s me
    Year 2040
    Unbelievable even after so many new gadgets have been launched, he feels he has an upper hand over his peers with his galaxy tablet.